Stewarding your Testimony

Tuesday, April 5, 2016


I've been thinking a lot these last few days about stewarding your testimony.  If you follow us on Facebook, you may have read my little update yesterday:


I think it's within reason to say that our journey with Alli has both strengthened us AND caused us to grow weary all at the same time. If that even makes sense.
It's in the weary that I stopped praying for her full restoration here on earth (the one I know God has for her and has promised). Last week I read something that hit the nail so hard on the head, I haven't been able to think straight since. 

"Now you're exactly where the enemy wants you-where you no longer want to fight for peace and passion in your marriage, where you no longer believe your child can be restored, where you no longer hope for healing in your body........You don't ask or seek or knock. You don't take advantage of your heavenly places position and benefits package that comes from having every spiritual blessing in the universe handed to you as an inheritance." -Priscilla Shirer ‪#‎armorofgodstudy‬
 
Whoa.

I.mean.

I've been wrecked over those words for days. Wrecked with guilt for getting to this place. And wrecked with conviction to change it. In my quiet time this morning I prayed for God to give us a renewal of his abundant life giving words of restoration and regeneration for Alli. Like we ALL so often do, I asked God to "give me something." A "Lord, I believe but help my unbelief" kind of moment. You know we all have them. And because His nature is ALWAYS good, He did give me something just a few short hours later. 

She said MAMA!


Actually, she didn't just say Mama, she YELLED it. Demanded it. Meant it. Oh, thank you Jesus, for giving me something. He doesn't have to, but He does. It was a strong, loud, resounding "never give up" slap in the face I desperately needed. 

Maybe you have become like me and are in a place where you don't really even care anymore. Where the long haul has just about beat you up for too long and you are tired. Let me be the first to say, the long haul is SO hard. It WILL make you weak. It WILL make you weary. It WILL be hard on your marriage. It WILL effect you physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally. But God uses our faithfulness in waiting it out for the long haul. AND I WANT TO BE FAITHFUL FOR THE LONG HAUL. I want to soak up every right I have by being seated NOW, today in those heavenly places. As Priscilla puts it, "through prayer you can get your want-to" back. I promise you, you can.
It's in there, y'all. It's.in.there. ‪#‎shesaidmama‬
James 1 teaches us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  

Well.  Didn't I just nail that verse for all of a brief two seconds.  And the rest of the last 5 years, I've absolutely sucked at it. 

In those early days, it was easy to embrace this journey and run after the promises of God.  But as the days, weeks, months, and years have marched on it became easier to run from those promises.  

It was easier to run because of endurance, or lack thereof.  Because of fear.  Stress.  Anxiety.  Bitterness.  A critical spirit.  Depression.  A failed marriage.  Broken hearts. 
Broken dreams. Lies.  

It was easier to run because the enemy is good.  He plants all those things and more in our minds and makes us believe life is normal.  He lies to make us believe, this too shall pass.  

He lies because he KNOWS that God's glory WILL BE revealed in your story of pain and triumph.  God wants to take your pain and use it to give others hope. 

Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."

Irrevocable.  

Let that sink in for a moment.  

If God has placed a dream or promise in your heart, it's irrevocable.  No one can take that dream from you.  

Step out.  Step out in freedom, step out even if it's into darkness, because the light is coming.  

Step out and steward your testimony.  

Sidebar:

I feel led to say, Just as God accepts me as I am, so do I accept my children just as they are.  I love and accept Alli girl as is.  Don't even think for two seconds otherwise.  She is my daughter and she has been and is pure joy.  If Alli never talks, if her cognitive ability never changes from where it is today,   if she is never fully healed on this earth, He is still good.  But I stand firm by my dream, given to me by my good, good Father, that she will be.  
And so we wait.

And we pray, that God's glory is always revealed in our story.




Have a happy day, friends!
Jackie  



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2 comments

  1. Amazing! What I wouldn't give to hear my sweet one say mama! He is 41/2 with spastic quad cp. I needed to read this. Even though I love and accept him just as he is I can still pray for healing. Restoration. A miracle. Thanks for this reminder!

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  2. Amazing! What I wouldn't give to hear my sweet one say mama! He is 41/2 with spastic quad cp. I needed to read this. Even though I love and accept him just as he is I can still pray for healing. Restoration. A miracle. Thanks for this reminder!

    ReplyDelete

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