Thursday Thanks~Sweet November

Thursday, November 1, 2012

I’m not a superstitious person and I certainly believe you can speak something into happening so I try not to even speak these words….

But if you really really know me, you know I make no bones about it….
October haunts me.  In fact, October through January pain me.  What use to be my favorite month and season is now met with apprehension.  Every year.    

It all started in October 2008, one month after the great economic crisis began.  Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.  And then came October 2009, I’ll give the blame to China on that one.        
I’ll spare all the details, but since 2008, every.single.October has brought an uncontrollable attack on our family.  In case you need another example, October 2010 brought the beginning of the worst attack we’ve experienced….the first news of Alli.    

So today, I’m thankful for God’s Grace.  His grace brought us through everything.   Every.single.attack. 
Broken.
Wrecked.
Changed.

But survived. 
As with with every October, I begin to hold my breath during the last week of September.    Like seriously y'all.  I hold my breath.  I don’t fear the war, but I dread it. 

I’m tired. 
And I never know what to expect. 
In true fashion, October held no punches.  But somewhere in the middle of all its madness I realized something….

Every single month is going to bring something.

I’m going to dread these months.  The wounds are still deep.  There is still plenty of room for healing. And it’s OK that I’m not there yet. 
As Beth Moore would say,

“Look at each other and say it’s OK you’re not there yet!”
Did you do it??  Seriously, talk to yourself if you have to…do it!

I can’t just erase what we’ve been through and neither can you.  Whatever month brings you the most pain, anxiety, fear……you can’t just erase that.    
But we can make new memories. 

Memories so powerful that the pain and worry of the unknown is not even a speck on our radar. 
God’s grace does that. 

With these good memories of October 2012 in the books, I'll exhale just a little and look ahead towards a Sweet November.  And healing. 







 
gJackie

Post a Comment

Copyright © Jackie Belin
Made with Love by The Dutch Lady Designs